Finally!

by S.C. Torrington on August 21, 2011

Kitti’s Camaro was located tonight in Leakin Park—stripped and torched. That sure worked out better than I had hoped. Tossing her purse with her keys on the driver seat and leaving the doors unlocked made it too easy. But I couldn’t chance the pony car being parked there too long, getting ticketed or towed, or drawing attention to itself with those stupid vanity tags.

So is that it? Another drop in the city’s bloody bucket? I was kinda expecting SWAT to burst into my apartment this week, waving a chewed piece of pink Bubble Yum with my shoe print on it. But nothing’s happened.

Gosh, is killing somebody really this easy to get away with? Apparently it is, when you’re invisible. But I guess for a murderer, that’s a good thing.

What’s NOT a good thing is that I haven’t lost ten pounds yet. Nine, maybe, if I’m naked and shift around on the scale, first thing in the morning, after I pee.

But no lame-ass excuses this time. What did Warhol say about changing things? You gotta DIY. Well, I sure did that. And everything’s that’s happened has been MY choice, which in itself has been incredibly empowering.

You know, for a chubby chick, I feel pretty good about myself.

So hey, tomorrow is Monday. The diet always starts on a Monday.

 

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Her car’s still MIA

by S.C. Torrington on August 18, 2011

That’s all the news is saying. And that the cops are continuing to follow up on all the (false) leads generated by Wiley’s reward. Still looking like a robbery run amuck.

I wish I could find out what their investigation is turning up. Was Kitti’s last client even a suspect? What kind of description did Betty give of me? I had my hair tied back and wore as generic of jeans and t-shirt as I could find. And I never took off my sunglasses. Luckily, street parking in Fells Point is always a bitch. That made it easy to not park anywhere near her Camaro. I coulda been anybody going anywhere. But, in all probability, nobody noticed me. Invisible, remember?

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I went back to the scene of the crime

August 17, 2011

No, not the Boston Street basement—Lane Bryant. Last year’s shorts are way-too big. So today I went shopping at LB’s. Funny, I couldn’t find anything that fit right. I wound up in J. Crew. Got a few pairs of comfy chinos for work and a cute size-12 madras short. Those are still a little tight, [...]

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The Local TV News broke with the story

August 16, 2011

“Popular Local Realtor Found Dead in Basement of Fells Point Show Home.” It was thought that Katarina Townsend’s death was the handiwork of over-zealous local thugs. Police were interviewing her co-workers. Her red 1993 Chevrolet Camaro with vanity tags TOO HOT was missing. Then they gave Metro Crime Stoppers’ number to call with info. Hopefully [...]

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Now I’m worried…

August 15, 2011

Back in the basement, I had slipped on my driving gloves, grabbed Kitti’s fucking-gorgeous Hermes handbag, and started towards the steps. But something pink caught my eye. I used my shoe to chip shot a wad of Bubble Yum back into Kitti’s drooling mouth. She sure didn’t look TOO HOT sprawled there, licking the concrete [...]

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Funny thing

August 14, 2011

I kept waiting for Kitti to at least think she recognized me from somewhere. But nothing. So I let her organize the rest of our day to be endless driving and running through a dozen of nearly demolished $250,000 rowhouses. When I told her I needed to take my own vehicle, since I’d have to [...]

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Well, okay, here goes…

August 14, 2011

Hoping to see Kitti in action, I showed up a little early for my appointment. But she was running late from breakfast and would be back in about a half-hour. So I waited. The place was empty except for the receptionist who eventually struck up a conversation. Maybe she felt sorry for me. Maybe she [...]

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So I splurged

August 12, 2011

And bought over $100-worth of Lean Cuisines. It’s so much easier than all that measuring and cooking. Besides, even eating two Steakhouse Ranch Flatbread Melts is better for me than a foot-long bacon cheese steak sub from Buddy’s. I didn’t make the Show Cut, so since Tuesday I’ve had plenty of time to rehearse my [...]

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So today on my lunch hour

August 9, 2011

I looked up Wiley’s number in the phone book and called from one of the pay phones in the lobby. Something told me not to call from my cell phone. Maybe I watch too much Court TV. But if I wind up screaming at Kitti or punching her in the nose, I don’t want her [...]

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I swear I didn’t go looking for trouble

August 9, 2011

But karma or kismet or fate, whatever you want to call it, intervened. On my way to work this (Monday) morning, I saw Kitti’s car again. Tired of creeping behind a transit bus, I’d decided to cut down the alleyway between St. Paul and Calvert Streets. And there it was. Her unmistakable red Camaro parked [...]

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